by Bethany Tomerlin Prince
Freedom Valley Care Center for Really, Really Wise Dragons is Always Hiring!
Freedom Valley Care Center for Really, Really Wise Dragons is the premier care center for geriatric dragons on the Western Continent. Unlike other multi-species care homes, we only serve Dragons, Drakes, Drakainas, and Wyverns, allowing us to provide custom care tailored to our client’s unique ultimatums! If you were a cave-bound Dragon, Freedom Valley Care Center would be your children’s top choice!
We are looking to replenish our team of brave, compassionate associates!
If it was up to us, we would consider every applicant.
However, due to various town and kingdom regulations, we are unable to hire any individual:
- With an evil alignment
- With a theft conviction
- Who is currently a member of an adventurer’s guild
***Equal Opportunity Statement***
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and do not discriminate against applicants due to class, race, species, gender, native language, continent, or realm of origin. The only factors we consider are an applicant’s willingness and ability to complete the requested role.
Mage Interns Needed
Our patent-pending mobility barges provide a low-impact way to move patients recovering from wing surgery around our facility. If you are a wind mage looking for an opportunity to earn casting hours toward your wizard’s license, then we would love for you to join our team!
- Enable patients to attend follow-up appointments and physical therapy
- Continually cast for extensive periods of time
- Ability to cast spells with a substantial amount of thrust
- Ability to cast with a high degree of directional accuracy
Going forward all applicants will have their magical ability verified via an on-site practical exam as part of the interview process. Candidates planning to lift the barges, rather than magically manipulate them, need not apply.
This is one of the few conjurer credit eligible internships that also pays a competitive salary.
Full-Time Care Assistants Needed
Our care assistants are at the heart of what we do, providing physical and emotional support to their assigned patients.
- Emulsify large quantities of meat
- Change extra, extra, extra, large incontinence pads
- Clip claws
- Change bandages
- Administer barrels of healing potions
- Listen to chronicles of bygone centuries
- Monitor hibernating patients
- Experience putting sweaters on large, non-humanoid creatures
- Thick-skinned (figuratively)
- We need our employees to exhibit understanding if threats are made to set one’s person or village ablaze
- Literal thick skin would be a plus but is not required
- Priority will be given to candidates that are fireproof and/ or invulnerable to large quantities of offensive magic
Kitschy knick-knacks gold, and precious gems, paid out in increasing amounts for every year you’re a part of the Freedom Valley Care family. In addition, we provide a comprehensive benefits package that includes prepaid healing, discounted potions, enrollment in the company tontine, and fully subsidized accidental dismemberment and death insurance.
Tracker Contractor Needed
Oftentimes, our more confused clients forcefully wander outside of our property. We need an experienced tracker to find our misplaced patrons, as well as to convince them to return. This position is that of an independent contractor that provides services on an as-needed basis.
- Quickly locate clients out in the wild
- Return them to our care before they can harm themselves or others
- Nearly instantaneous response time
- Proven track record of successfully locating living creatures
- Ability to cover enormous distances quickly
- Multiple means of nonviolent persuasion
- Training in de-escalation techniques would be a plus
One artifact-grade magical item per client returned minus any property damage expenses.
Freedom Valley Care Center For Really, Really Wise Dragons Eagerly Anticipates You Joining Our Team!
Bethany Tomerlin Prince is a voracious lover of stories, a compulsive buyer of books, a recovering fan fiction addict, and a wannabe writer. She is so glad to have found Sci Phi because she loves idea-based science fiction and sometimes thinks characters are overrated. This is her first paid sale.
When I was helping my mom recover from her knee replacement, I started thinking about a Dungeons and Dragons-type fantasy world that followed a similar civilization trajectory as our own. I.e. the tribal and kingdom violence gradually gave way to urbanized civilization. I realized in this world that a lot of Dragons that would have historically been killed off by adventurers or by younger rivals would now instead be living longer and longer with all of the challenges that old age brings, including dementia. Then I started having a fun time imagining the individuals a nursing home for geriatric dragons would hire.
Lovely twist, and very amusing details. Congratulations to the author.