by Richard Lau
“What is this?” Zeus, the King of Olympus, demanded of Pandora when she presented him with her gift. The offering in question was a large rectangular metal box, about two meters long, three quarters of a meter wide and high.
Your doom, Pandora thought to herself. But aloud, she tactfully answered, “A kingly gift for the king of kings. A godly gift for the god of gods.”
For once, Zeus wasn’t swayed by flattery. He and Pandora had a history and not a pleasant one. He had twice shackled her brother-in-law Prometheus to the side of Mount Caucasus, having an eagle peck out and consume the titan’s liver, only to have the organ grow back overnight and the punishment repeated the next day.
“The lid is sealed,” Zeus observed. “How do I know there isn’t something bad in it?”
Pandora answered and her tone contained a mix of bitterness and truth. “Bad? What could harm someone as great as Zeus? Besides you’ve already had me unleash everything bad into the world with your wedding gift, remember?”
Zeus chortled. Yes, that was a good one, having the sum of all evils stored in a box, counting on Pandora’s curiosity to open the lid and release them. She would never live that one down!
“Anyway,” she continued, “you have my word that the box only contains good.”
#
A few months earlier, Pandora had released Prometheus from his shackles on the slope of Mount Caucasus yet again. “Don’t forget our agreement,” she reminded him. “In exchange for your freedom, when you get back to your toy workshop in the northern lands, build me the box I described.”
“No problem,” replied the titan. “The cloning will be tricky, along with the cryogenics, but my workshop and elves can build anything. I, too, have scores to settle with Zeus.”
When Zeus was told that Prometheus had escaped, it was claimed that the titan had been assisted by human children, not elves.
“The little humans always loved Prometheus’ jolly old elf persona and his gift-giving,” the king of Olympus was said to have muttered. “Let them have their Santa. I grow tired of his punishment, and my eagle has had its fill of titan liver.”
#
Olympus was in turmoil. The Greek gods and goddesses gathered around Zeus and the still closed box that lay defiantly at his feet. Their king was deeply troubled. Not only was he curious about what was in the box, but he was also annoyed by his inability to control his curiosity. Where was his godly willpower? Wasn’t this the same weakness he had exploited with Pandora? Was this part of her plan for revenge? No, she wouldn’t dare! And what could she possibly do?
“Forget the stupid box,” advised Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and festivity. “Enjoy yourself! Have some drink and ambrosia!”
“Drink is always your solution,” grumbled Zeus. “And, anyway, who invited you to this discussion?”
“Unlike some folks, I am invited everywhere,” Dionysus mumbled under his breath, staring remorsefully at a nearby jug that regrettably only contained water.
“Why gather the rest of us here?” asked Ares, the god of war. “The box involves Zeus himself. Pandora has said as much. And whether or not to open it, it is his decision.”
Athena, showing her wisdom, replied, “Whatever affects Zeus affects the rest of us.”
Hermes, Zeus’ messenger and the fastest of the gods, suggested, “Sire, in a moment I could take a request to your brothers Poseidon and Hades. They can hide the cursed box beneath the sea or in the underworld.”
“As the king of gods, I make requests of no one,” Zeus said, pridefully stubborn. “If it be my will, it shall be done.” But what was his will? The question still plagued him.
Athena imparted her wisdom again. “And even with the box physically removed, it and its mysterious contents will still be present in our king’s mind, as surely as if the box still lay at his feet.”
Zeus had to admit that his daughter was correct, as usual. He was annoyed with himself to the point of distraction. Again, he realized this was the same tactic he had used against humanity. After fire, Prometheus had given them the secret of Zeus’s thunderbolt, dark energy. To prevent them from implementing this new form of power, Zeus had distracted the humans with the contradictory behaviors brought on by quantum mechanics.
If only he could consult the Oracle of Delphi about what would happen when he opened Pandora’s gift. But the high priestess had been driven mad after trying to psychically detect the superpositioned nature of a cat packed in its own closed container by the elder god Schrodingememnon.
Zeus felt literally boxed in by his own actions.
“What are we afraid of?” asked Aphrodite, the goddess of love, for she always chose to see the best in people. “Pandora said that the box contained something good.”
“Can we believe anything she says?” argued Ares, always eager for confrontation. “After all, I have heard that she has joined that new cult!”
“You didn’t hear it from me!” insisted Hermes rather guiltily about the speed in which gossip traveled.
“Enough!” proclaimed Zeus, his voice thundering with frustration and decision. “I am Zeus! I fear nothing! One way or another, I will end this mystery!”
“And end your suffering, dear,” whispered Hera, who knew her brother and husband all too well.
Zeus reached to open the box, and, at his touch, there was a crackle, like some sort of electrical field being disturbed. Then the disembodied voice of an unseen Prometheus intoned, “Do not open ‘til Christmas. Do not open ‘til Christmas. Re-animation protocols engaged.”
“Prometheus, you coward! Show yourself!” roared Zeus, instinctively knowing that something very wrong was happening. “And what is this Christmas?”
“Suspended animation successfully reversed!” announced the box. “Christmas is here!”
The lid of the box split into two and folded back.
A berobed, long-haired, bearded young man jumped out from the exposed interior.
With outstretched arms as if to embrace the entire gathering and the world, the man said, “Eizo hakala! I thought I’d never get out of that box!”
In celebration, He turned a jug of water into wine, immediately winning over Dionysus, who changed his name to Andrew the First Disciple and unknowingly saved himself.
“Pandora, you…” began Zeus. But before he could summon his famed thunderbolt to strike her down, he and the other Greek gods faded away.
~
Bio:
Richard Lau is an award-winning writer who is published in magazines, newspapers, and anthologies, as well as in the high-tech industry and online.
Philosophy Note:
In Another White Elephant? (December 2024 Issue of Sci Phi Journal), Prometheus gives the secret of dark energy to humanity. In the sequel What Happened At Delphi (December 2025, Sci Phi Journal), Zeus finds a way to distract humanity from developing dark energy technology by once again giving Pandora a box. The present story completes the trilogy.
